Life Goes On!

There have been many changes in my life in the past year and I find myself constantly looking back.  I know I should be looking at only today, as I've learned never to look back or forward, that we only have control over today.  I lost my dad last year and think about him a lot. I talk to my mom all the time now and value the relationship we have. I think this has made us closer.  I wish I could move to where she is living to be closer to her, but current circumstances do not permit this.

My youngest daughter is now out of school and will be in 7th grade next year. I can't believe how fast time flies and wish that she could be my baby forever.  I love my kids dearly, but if I'm being honest she is my favorite. She is kind, empathetic, caring, and has an awesome sense of humour.  She is so excited to be going to soccer camp this Summer at OSU for some intense goalie training. I'm hoping it helps to increase her self esteem.

I was laid off in February from a job that I loved and have not been able to find any work. I worked for the third time for an insanely controlling, unorganized, and lying employer out of CA, but quickly quit that job.  I value my time with my family and flexibility is key for me. He wasn't so understanding of that and I found myself working all weekend to keep up with the deadlines that he promised other people. I truly believe we have to be happy with what we are doing and that was not a healthy situation for me mentally.

My middle daughter now has a job and is working 2 days a week. This may not sound like much, but with the disabilities she has, this is an amazing thing.  She just turned 20 and is now learning how life really works and that money doesn't grow on trees. She is also learning the freedom of having a job and money and I think that helps her feel a little more independent.

My husband is working towards an engineer degree, but is taking the Summer off this year; he was in school last Summer. So, I'm hoping we are able to do some memory making and possibly go visit my mom before the hustle and bustle of school again in August.

I have don't any art work in over a year. With the loss of my dad and a close dear friend last year, the losing a job, and the constant bombardment of life; I just haven't had the motivation to do anything.  I really would like to get my mojo back and do something creative. I do miss it dearly.  I'll just have to take one day at a time and trust that God will show me the reason I'm supposed to be here.

Living in Podunk, I mean Hell!

We have now lived in Miami, OK for 3 months and nothing has changed our minds about wanting to live here. We are still looking for work and with over 40 applications submitted and over 6 job interviews I am nowhere even close to landing a job. One of the interviews I went on make me look at getting a job here with a whole new perspective; The interviewer said "there are plenty of jobs here just not any careers." So, what the heck are we doing here?

I've been told on several occasions by "locals" that this is a great place to raise kids and I can see that with how the school system is structured. Is that enough? I am starting to think that it isn't.

In our neighborhood alone there are approximately 17 registered sex offenders, which in itself makes us uncomfortable and it does not help when the neighbor across the street tells your 6 year old that he has a "girl" bike in his garage. He did not actually invite her but this makes us queasy none-the-less. Was he just being his normal pervert self? Did this mean intention? How do I keep her safe? This neighbor came to be known as pervert long before this incident and this did not help.

Then there is jerk face across the street who took it upon himself to call my 6 year old over and intergate her. He had found a "pad" that goes on a boys bike and wanted to know if it was hers. Duh, her bike is red not black and brand new, so NO it does not belong to her. Then he proceeds to ask her if she has been in his back yard bothering his dogs. She said that she had once to visit them, not bother them, and then went into reading her the riot act. My neighbor saw this and also saw her ride her bike into our backyard looking absolutely terrified. This slug had no right to do that and I have been sitting on my front porch waiting for his return from whatever job he has that takes him away from home for up to a week. How dare he address my daughter like that. I believe that if someone has an issue with a child they should take it up with the parents.

To top it all off; a double and huge sized tree trunk fell from the tree in the backyard taking down our utility lines. The Miami utility company was here within minutes to attach the electrical line back to the house, however, the landlord did not find it an emergency to remove the tree.

I am originally from California and have lived off-and-on in Colorado for most of my life. Arriving here was like arriving in a town stuck in a previous century. There is nothing to do but the bowling alley, Casinos, bars, and Wal-Mart. I'm too afraid to take my kids to the main park for the perverts that are supposed to inhabit it and I cannot stand the laid back and nonchalant attitude that floats around here from people. There is a very dangerous thought process around here that goes something like this: "It could never happen here." Talk about a town full of idiots.

I have so much more to say on this subject so I will save some for later. By-the-way, podunk is between a one-horse-town and a village!